Goals… Kind of

Growing up is a funny thing, you know? My entire life, college was my goal. I knew from kindergarten that I would eventually attend a university. I was going to go somewhere amazing with ivy covered buildings and I was going to study really hard and I was going to be a success.

Somewhere between kindergarten and actually getting into college, I realized that I had never made a plan for after college. Finally, I was about to enter an old ivy covered hall and had no idea how to get back out.

Fast forward 6(ish) years and I am seen as an adult by the world. I have a job with a steady paycheck at a newspaper company in Manhattan, and I have absolutely no idea what the heck I will be doing for the rest of my life. At the moment, the most terrifying question someone could ask me is “where do you see yourself in 5 years?” Dude, I don’t even know where I see myself tomorrow. No one ever told me deciding what I want to do with my life would be this difficult. No one ever said it would have to be decided so suddenly, I guess. My parents always told me I needed to have a plan, that the only way to get through life is to have goals, and for the first time in my life I have no plan, no direction, not even a vague idea of what I want and how to get there. To quote Pheobe Buffay, “I don’t even have a ‘pla’.”

So now what do I do? Where do I go from here? How do I climb up the corporate ladder (or any ladder with a pay check, honestly) to become the badass I want to be? I know I want to be successful, I know I want a badass career by the time I’m 30 but other than that, I know nothing and I absolutely hate it. How did this happen?? How did I let this happen? This scares me. If there was ever a time for my dead ancestors to show and guide me, this would be it. But until I see some dead people, I’m going to have to organize my life.

I tried today, kind of. Well, I went to Staples, at least. Staples is the place I would go in college when I was stressed and needed to organize myself. So I went. But the Staples by me sucked. So I bought $8 worth of candy and came back to my office. I’m obviously far from where I need to be but I guess this is a start. Hopefully, I can figure out the plan I need to have and finally get my life on the track I want it on.

Until then, I’m going to eat these chocolate turtles and research Santorini. Why? Because getting there is a goal, and goals are good.