love

The Realist Vs. The Romantic

  
(Taken from here)

Talking to my mom made me realize that I might be more of a realist than I originally thought. Or maybe not? I don’t know. Let me explain…

I love my boyfriend. I love him dearly and I know that eventually we will be married. But whether that’s in a year or 5 years (which I certainly hope it’s not that long) I know we will be married, we will grow old together and make a life and home together and eventually die and together we will haunt the heck out of people and absolutely love every second of it. 

That being said, I don’t think getting married young is the best thing for me. Ok so I’m not 18, but 24 is still barely considered an adult by my generation. In my office no one under 30 is married. Actually, no one under thirty is even in a relationship besides me. But my reasoning behind not wanting to be married yet has nothing to do with my coworkers. I want to be ready.

I want to be emotionally, financially, and physically prepared to create a life with a man I never want to be apart from. And because of that, I don’t think getting married yet is a good idea. 

But to get back to my original statement; my mother was looking through the university magazine that my sister got from the college she is currently a sophomore in. While skimming the pages, my mom found an article about all of the couples who got married on campus this year, including multiple couples that only graduated a year or two ago. I callously said they were dumb. I should have kept my comment to myself but I didn’t think anything of it as I blurted it out. My mother asked why I felt this way and I explained that as a 23/24 year old, you’re still a kid; you’re probably not making much money, you barely have a legitimate job (if one at all,) and there’s a decent chance you don’t even know who you are as a person. While giving my reasons, I forgot that my parents were 23 and 24 when they walked down the isle. My mom tried to explain that when you love someone your priorities change and money  eventually makes its way into your life. But with half of marriages ending in divorce and one of the main reasons for separation being money issues, would you really want to take what chance with someone you love, was my answer. 

That’s when I think she gave up on me. She already had doubts about my relationship and I think I accidentally added my fuel to the fire. But like I said, I didn’t mean too. My main point was that I plan on getting married once, to the man I am currently dating and am absolutely in love with. And when I marry him, I plan on making it perfect. So I plan on being financially stable. I want to make sure I can avoid whatever issues are avoidable. I want to make sure that if we do decide to start a family, he and I will be able to give our family everything it needs to grow and more. I know I can’t plan for everything but I would like to at least try. I want to be an adult, even if I may not feel 100% adult-like.

So maybe I’m realistic, or maybe I’m the dreamer. Maybe this is all ridiculous and my mom is the realist while I, the self proclaimed heart of ice, am the romantic. Maybe the idea of being financially stable is a myth and I’m the one harping on fantasies when I can be planning a wedding. 

But I guess I’ll just have to wait and see how it all goes. Wish me luck.

Bikini Bridges and Crazy Wishes

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Maybe it’s just my lack of interest, or my inability to focus on two things at once, but I’ve never really focused on my imperfections. I know I have them, of course, but unlike most women, I don’t harp on them. They’re there. I get over it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not superwoman.

Sometimes my belly bothers me, or I notice how big my thighs are but it doesn’t take long for me to refocus my attention onto something more important, like pizza or my family.

That’s why articles like this bother me.
Article – Why We Need To End The Bikini Bridge Madness Right Now

The writer of this article sounds like a bitter woman who is unhappy with herself and feels the need to take it out on everyone else.

Background info: the bikini bridge that she discusses in the article was a hoax started by 4chan users to be annoying. They didn’t take it seriously (although, it was a dick move. come on, women don’t have enough body issues?) But it’s exploded into this ridiculous fight between women with it and women without it. Idiots all over the Internet are saying its the new “thigh gap” and are claiming how silly the trend is. It has taken the Internet by storm. It’s actually considered news. I used to want to be a journalist. Now I just cringe when I see the insanity that some consider “news.”

But I’m not here to talk about the stupidity that is the people of the Internet. I needed to vent about how this article made me feel.

Ever since I hit puberty I’ve been a “bigger” girl. I don’t have a thigh gap, or a bikini bridge, and my ass jiggles when I walk. But, as I mentioned before, I don’t give a shit. I’m happy; I’m happy with my life, with my body, and with Oreos, and don’t have time to worry about my pouch, as my boyfriend and I lovingly refer to the part of my belly that pops out a little more than the rest. And because of my “I don’t give a shit” attitude, I support everyone who is as happy with their bodies as I am.

It upsets me knowing that this elation over a person’s own body is not something a lot of women experience, and I wish I could help them with that. Don’t let anyone fool you, being happy with yourself is the greatest feeling in the world, whether you’re toned, chubby, naturally thin, etc. It’s your body, you only get one. Respect it, love it, cherish it, understand it. And let others do the same.

That’s the thing most people cannot comprehend. It’s also the one thing that drives me insane. If you’re on the heavier side, that’s awesome! However, you do not have to bash people who are thin to validate yourself or your weight. Be happy with yourself and stop worrying about everyone else.

And if you’re on the thinner side, good for you! As long as your happy with it, don’t think bashing “fat” people is going to make you look better, because it won’t. It will make you look like a troll.

The article on elitedaily.com is a complete joke. When my friend Sam first sent it to me, I stopped reading it half way through because I was disgusted. The writer continuously bashes people who are naturally skinny in order to prove her point. She started out with a decent argument, that the craziness over the bikini bridge was, just that, craziness. But somewhere within her research and writing, her words acquired a harshness that she should have left at the door. As a journalist you learn to be objective. I understand that it was an opinion piece, but her skinny-shaming is not an opinion that should have been shared. She can seriously hurt with her words and I think she might have forgotten that.

As a bigger girl, I have issues with fat shaming, obviously, but I also do not appreciate thin-shaming, because it is essentially shaming someone for who they naturally are.

Contrary to what this writer thinks, a lot of people are naturally thin so they have thigh gaps and bikini bridges. It’s how they were built. That doesn’t mean she should hate them for it.

I suppose it all comes down to this:

If you don’t like the way you look, change what you dislike for yourself.

Never change for someone else.

But on the other hand, don’t think that if someone looks differently than you do, they are in the wrong. Because it only makes you sound like you need a hug and a slap, and I’m not sure which one I’d rather dish out first.

Too excited. Can’t handle it!

I still can’t get over the fact that I get to leave the country again.

I love traveling. I love packing. I love seeing things I’ve never seen before and hearing languages I’ve never heard before. I love hotels and airports and trains. I love the idea of leaving everything behind and traveling to somewhere new, even if it’s only for a little while. Yesterday I booked our flights and on my way home researched the hotels we will be staying in.

The hotels were included in the final price, so I wasn’t able to choose which hotel we stayed in. Neither one seems like we would have a problem with it though.

The hotel in Paris is Moroccan themed, which sounds wonderful. I’ve always wanted to go to Morocco because I admire the architecture so much. It is located in the 14th district of Paris and seems like a bit of a hike to any “tourist attractions,” but I like the idea of being out of the way and being able to experience Paris as a town instead of one giant tourist trap. I like that we’ll be able to walk around and experience the district during it’s daily routines. Judging by Googlemaps, it seems like the hotel is in a primarily residential area which looks like fun.

The hotel in Rome seems a bit dodgy but I’m hoping that’s just me being silly. This hotel is on the outskirts of the city (the website says near the Vatican but whatevs) and seems to be across the road from an abandoned field. I’m used to the sketchy openness of Italy because that is what the outskirts of my hometown look like, but we will most likely have to take a cab anywhere we choose to go. As annoying as that is, I plan on hitting every tourist trap in Rome so I’ll be saving up for my cab fund 🙂 Rome is absolutely, without a doubt, my favorite city in the world. I loved living there and would do it again in a heart beat. I hated having to wash my clothes in the bathtub but it was worth it. Hopefully I’m overreacting to the hotel.

I’ve been researching places to visit and things to see since we bought the vouchers a few weeks ago. I feel no where near prepared but I have a lot of time. I definitely feel like I should be more organized by November. I’m so nervous about not being able to speak French because that’s a huge barrier when it comes to getting around Paris. The few people I’ve spoken to about my trip have said that many people who work in Paris speak English, which would make my trip easier. But I don’t want to go to Paris or Rome as a tourist. I want to really experience each city.

Three days is not nearly enough time for me to truly appreciate either city, but unfortunately, that’s all I have.

I’ve made lists of things that are a MUST SEE and things that I wouldn’t mind ditching.

So far, the Must See list is giant.

I’m so overjoyed I can barely contain it.

266 days!!

OCTOBER IS HEREEE!

October is my favorite month. I don’t know if you sensed the excitement in the title ( I also like to use the cap lock button-no biggie.)

Sure its the month of my birth, BUT it is also the coolest month on the calendar. Therefore I have compiled a list of reasons why October rocks.

  1. Halloween- the coolest, scariest, most delicious holiday ever (also, the holiday with the best candy, totally kicks Easter’s butt.) AND YOU GET TO PLAY DRESS UP LIKE ALL OF THE TIME AND NO ONE THINKS ITS WEIRD. You can be a ninja turtle or the hulk or a nerd or a pirate. And its all good.
  2. It is the middle of fall, which means that the leaves are extra crunchy and extra pretty, in turn making me extra happy.
  3. Big, comfy sweaters are totally acceptable, which means that the wearer is comfortable all the time! so great ahh
  4. Hocus Pocus is on TV ALL THE TIME. I love the movie… it had gotten to a point that I would watch it on my laptop at work, at least once a week… in April… when it was warm. I just missed it so much!
  5. BOOTS ugh, I love boots. I want all of them. I’m crazy I know, but there are so many different kinds. AND they’re the best type of footwear, don’t you dare even disagree.
  6. You cannot pass a store without some kind of ghost, goblin or witch in the window – gotta love the dedicated decorator!
  7. Pumpkins everywhere. They are the cutest little things, you cant not love them, all orange with their adorable little stems. Some even have faces, how do people not think that is the coolest thing ever!?
  8. Pumpkin flavored everything. I was gonna make this part of #7 but it deserves its own number. I mean, think about it. Pumpkin spice coffee, pumpkin pie, pumpkin cookies, and cupcakes, and candies and oh my lanta.
  9. Scarves- GAHH I love comfy scarves that I can wrap my neck/head in and just sit and be happy. And the best part is that most scarves are super pretty. *killin two birds with one fashionable stone*
  10. Halloween Oreos- I love Oreos. They are my favorite kind of cookie, they also come in an assortment of awesome flavors, and around Halloween they are made with orange cream and have cool pumpkins on the outside. Its just a great thing.
  11. Its getting chilly, which can only mean one thing- Down Comfortersssssssss. Nothing beats the comfy-ness of a giant comforter, a giant mug of tea and your favorite book. Nothing.
  12. Fireplaces- We have a fireplace in my living room. Its giant and the outside is painted white. My mom hates it because its wood burning, which means it gets soot everywhere. But it is the most wonderful thing on a Saturday night to sit next too while watching a movie with the family.

So, in conclusion, October is the best month of the year, and if you don’t believe me yet, here is a gif of a dancing pumpkin spice latte.

Cheers!anigif_enhanced-buzz-18910-1379087862-22

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