Month: May 2015

Goals… Kind of

Growing up is a funny thing, you know? My entire life, college was my goal. I knew from kindergarten that I would eventually attend a university. I was going to go somewhere amazing with ivy covered buildings and I was going to study really hard and I was going to be a success.

Somewhere between kindergarten and actually getting into college, I realized that I had never made a plan for after college. Finally, I was about to enter an old ivy covered hall and had no idea how to get back out.

Fast forward 6(ish) years and I am seen as an adult by the world. I have a job with a steady paycheck at a newspaper company in Manhattan, and I have absolutely no idea what the heck I will be doing for the rest of my life. At the moment, the most terrifying question someone could ask me is “where do you see yourself in 5 years?” Dude, I don’t even know where I see myself tomorrow. No one ever told me deciding what I want to do with my life would be this difficult. No one ever said it would have to be decided so suddenly, I guess. My parents always told me I needed to have a plan, that the only way to get through life is to have goals, and for the first time in my life I have no plan, no direction, not even a vague idea of what I want and how to get there. To quote Pheobe Buffay, “I don’t even have a ‘pla’.”

So now what do I do? Where do I go from here? How do I climb up the corporate ladder (or any ladder with a pay check, honestly) to become the badass I want to be? I know I want to be successful, I know I want a badass career by the time I’m 30 but other than that, I know nothing and I absolutely hate it. How did this happen?? How did I let this happen? This scares me. If there was ever a time for my dead ancestors to show and guide me, this would be it. But until I see some dead people, I’m going to have to organize my life.

I tried today, kind of. Well, I went to Staples, at least. Staples is the place I would go in college when I was stressed and needed to organize myself. So I went. But the Staples by me sucked. So I bought $8 worth of candy and came back to my office. I’m obviously far from where I need to be but I guess this is a start. Hopefully, I can figure out the plan I need to have and finally get my life on the track I want it on.

Until then, I’m going to eat these chocolate turtles and research Santorini. Why? Because getting there is a goal, and goals are good.

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My Real Life Resume

  • National Account Advertising Coordinator for major newspapers across the country
  • Hides in bathroom playing Crossy road when stressed
  • Handles over $30 million in accounts’ annual revenue 
  • Relies too heavily on cold brew coffee
  • Bachelor’s Degree in Communication, specializing in Journalism and Public Relations
  • Cannot, for the life of her, keep up with a personal blog

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oops

We are about to get kinda personal…

Tomorrow, my friends who were freshman when I was a junior in college will be graduating. 

Tonight is their last official night as college students. Once they proudly walk across that stage they will be expected to be full functioning adults. People will ask them where they will be working and whether they have a 401k. They’ll need to know how to do taxes and maybe they’ll move out of their parents’ house and get a place of their own. 

But tonight, they’re still kids. And I hope to God that they realize that.

I remember the night before I graduated. It was a mess. I drank too much. I hung out on the beach in clothes that were not made for that kind of breeze. I almost jumped into the ocean but thought better of it. I helped pass around a watermelon flavored joint, but didn’t smoke it – I guess I’ve never been the pot smoking type, but that night I almost pretended I was. I kissed a boy I didn’t care about while sitting on his bed, just in case I never got the chance to again. I didn’t get home until it was almost time to wake up. I barely slept, I ate Chinese food and drank champagne from the bottle through a straw in bed. I told my roommates how much I loved them. I squeezed out every last ounce of college that I could.

The next day I became an adult, not a very good one, I might add, but an adult in everyone’s eyes. I skipped across that stage like I had won the lotto. I had done it, I had graduated college. Sure, it’s a pretty normal thing for most people, but fuck them, I was excited. I had done it all on my own and I was proud. I had done stupid things during my 4 years there but nothing I regretted. And it was all done with. My cap said “never give up” in black and silver sparkles, and I knew I hadn’t. 

The day I graduated college was a whirlwind of unnecessary emotions, but that was two years ago. But now I kinda want it back. 

Newsflash: I’m extremely lazy

So I tend to look for the easiest and most efficient way of doing things. Sometimes they just don’t work out.

Enter: the three ingredient pancake. Maybe it’s just me,  but unless one of those ingredients is pancake mix, this ain’t gonna work out well in my favor.

While at work this week, I happened across this BuzzFeed video. Not one of my best ideas to try.

First of all, the only ingredients you’re supposed to use are a banana, two eggs and cinnamon. My first issue was that they didn’t give an amount for any of the ingredients, but I wanted to try anyway because who doesn’t love pancakes?

For prep, You will need:

  • A bowl
  • 2 eggs (according to the video)
  • A banana
  • Cinnamon

First things first, peel the banana and mush it with a fork. I forgot to take a picture of this because I was frustrated by how annoying it is to mush a banana with a fork. Stupid banana.

Next, crack the eggs into the mushed banana and mix them together. At this point, I kind of began realizing this would be very different than the video. My egg to banana ratio was way off. I used extra large eggs, which I don’t think I should have done but THE VIDEO HAD NO VOCAL INSTRUCTIONS. That made things hard.

Add some cinnamon, how much is obviously up to you, since we get no real instructions. I put 3 or 4 shakes in there.

Mix up your concoction. Spray some cooking spray on a frying pan just in case (I used Pam) and put it on the front burner on medium. Medium is usually best so that the outside doesn’t burn before the inside is cooked. 

This was really different than what the video’s pancake mix looked like. So this was my solidification that I was in the wrong somewhere.

Here is where you’re on your own. I put all of my mix in at once which was a terrible idea. I was pretending I was in the video and it was early when I tried this. I should’ve had coffee before. UGH, I mean really, look at this mess guys.
As if this wasn’t bad enough, I tried to get fancy with the flipping and then BOOM mess, broken pretend pancake everywhere. And that’s what it looked like when I finally got it into a plate. 

Just so you’re aware, I did not eat this. I tried it and decided that was enough. I did try to get my 10 year old cousin, James, to eat it but even he took issue with that.

I’m going to try to keep my food game somewhere near what normal people cook but I’m having issues. I’ll be putting all of my trials (both good and bad) on here so you guys can laugh at my mistakes.

Bon appétit mes amis!

So it’s finally hit me,

Apparently, I’m not in college anymore. 

Apparenty, I can’t eat Chinese food three times a week and expect to stay the same size if the only exercise I do is walking to and from the fridge.

Apparently, I’m supposed to actually care what I put in my body.

APPARENTLY THIS IS ADULTHOOD AND IT SUCKS.

So apparently I need to start taking better care of myself. Ugh

Over the next six months, I will be in 2 different countries besides America, I will be attending 2 anniversary parties where I will be dressed to the nines, I will be at 2 weddings within less than a month from each other, and I will be spending June through August in a bikini because I am pale as all hell and it makes me look slightly ill. 

All of that means I need to be in prime fighting form. So I’ve decided to start eating healthy and going to the gym on a regular (ish) basis. I think dragging my sorry ass onto the stair master at least 3 times a week can’t be a bad thing, even if it makes me want to dive head first into a pool of hungry sharks. But not only do I want to burn fat, I also want to build some serious muscle. Yea… We’ll see how that works out. 

But anyway, the reason for this post is to tell you about my healthy snack that I made all by myself: Frozen Yogurt Covered Blueberries

Obviously, I did not make this adorable little snack up, but I did conquer the hell out of it in my kitchen tonight. Bare with me while I pretend this was a serious job, ok?

First of all, I found this “recipe” online, if you can call it that. The frozen yogurt covered blueberries or FYCB as I will henceforth refer to them, are extremely straight forward and super easy. No joke, babies can do this. I haven’t checked out the rest of the site but it’s on my list of things to do. But without furtheradieu; FYCB.  

  
You will need:

  1. Greek Yogurt- I used blueberry because I’m not creative but any flavor works
  2. Blueberries (duh)
  3. A baking sheet to rest them on
  4. Wax paper or aluminum foil to cover the baking sheet
  5. A literal teaspoon, not the measuring device… Or a toothpick, which is what the recipe link above uses. 

To make th FYCB:

  1. First and foremost, make sure you wash the berries. This is critical because if you don’t that can be gross. I rinse mine, then left them in a bowl of water for about a minute. Then I strained them. Way easy and just a better idea
  2. Next, let them air dry a bit because I found that the yogurt stuck better to the dry blueberries
  3. (This will not sound pretty but if you’ve been here long, you know that nothing ever gets done “prettily”) BUT once they’re semi dry, dunk the berries into the yogurt, one at a time is probably best
  4. Swirled them around the yogurt container with the teaspoon until the berry is fully covered
  5. Take them out of the yogurt cup with the spoon and plopped them on the tray, leaving a little space between each
  6. Place in the freezer for about an hour

   

  

   

 Once they’ve been in there for about an hour, they’ll be cold and hard and really delicious on a really hot day. Careful though, if your teeth are sensitive to cold, proceed with caution.

   
   

The recipe I veered away from didn’t give any calories because she deemed the FYCB as healthy. I think she just didn’t wanna do the math to figure it out, which is completely understandable because I don’t want to either. But if you’re curious, the yogurt I used (Dannon’s Light and Fit Greek) is 80 calories for the whole container. I obviously didn’t use the whole container but I’ve included a picture of the nutritional info. Also, according to MyFitnessPal, which I’ve decided to use in my quest for a smaller waist, claims that one cup of blueberries is 11 calories. So if you care enough to figure that out, here ya go

  
I think I’m going to try to find delicious things to make and then document them here, since I suck at writing about everything else.

Wish me luck on my quest friends!