New Shoes Fix the Cracks in the Work Week Soul

Tuesday is the worst day of the week.

I don’t have a scientific reason behind it but they just are. That’s why I’m writing this on a Wednesday, because I was too busy being miserable to complain yesterday.

I have a theory as to why it sucks so much, but like I said, it’s just a theory.

Monday’s suck, obviously, but the thing with Monday’s is that everyone hates Monday’s so it collectively sucks. People can take solace in the fact that no one is having a good day so they aren’t alone in their sucking.

Wednesday’s are hump days. People, as a whole, are excited to have made it to the middle of the week. At this point, things start to suck less because you know that in just a couple of days, you can sit and do nothing and not worry about it.

Thursday is Friday-eve. You’re only 24 hours away from the best day of the work week, so now everyone is collectively praying for the minutes to go by faster.

And Friday. Friday is the Hail Mary of work days. It’s the last day of the work week and people tend to just go for it. In my world, there’s a real “fuck it” attitude that goes along with the F-Day. You’re basically at the weekend, man, time to start relaxing.

So, as you can now see, Tuesday is none of those things. Every Tuesday sucks with an immensity that can turn sane people insane. It can turn nice people into ferocious animals. It can suck so much that you cry.

My Tuesday sucked. But I can’t blame it all on Tuesday. My week has sucked since last Tuesday. No letting up, no surrendering, so there was a massive amount of suckage.

But then, I got an email.

Stubbs and Wooten is purveyor of what I would call “smoking slippers.” I’ve been obsessed with the company and their quirky slipper designs for a while now but never could justify spending $500+ on a pair of slippers.

Until this morning.

I’m an emotional person, do not judge me. This morning, at 7:15am I received an email saying that S&W was having a sale. And not just any sale, they were having a 50% off sale. So I drooled. And after about 12 minutes of struggling between wanting the slippers that say “Srew Love” and not wanting to spend $250 on shoes, I grabbed my debit card out of my wallet and bought the damn shoes on my phone.

They were shipped about 7 hours later. Expensive shoe companies are on their shit, guys.

Sure I could’ve done the responsible thing and said no, I could’ve put my phone away and taken a nap, hell, I could’ve even scoured the rest of the site and then shown everyone on the bus which shoes I liked, but instead I’m gonna be bringing my coffee from home and eating PB&J’s for the next two weeks so that I don’t spend money I don’t have.

Thank God Pay Day is on Friday. Let’s all celebrate with new shoes.


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