My anxiety has been through the roof

I suck.

I haven’t written in so long. I miss writing. I obviously miss writing here, but I also miss writing for a reason. I sometimes feel like I’m talking to an empty room and it can be really disheartening.

But I’ve also been extremely anxious lately. I have trouble concentrating on almost everything I do and its been pretty difficult to write about anything. I started two or three posts in the last two weeks that were thrown out after sitting in a Microsoft Word doc for 8 hours.

The only thing I’ve been able to concentrate on lately is reading. In the last three weeks I have read all five books of the Percy Jackson & the Olympians series and the first three books of the five books in The Heroes of Olympus series, all by Rick Riordan. They’re all under the YA (young adult) umbrella, which is totally cool in my book. I never understood why someone would be embarrassed about reading a book labeled “young adult.” I’m just proud of you for reading dude.

My anxiety has also helped me not procrastinate, which makes things slightly easier.

The first friend I made in college (besides my roommate) is getting married in September. But instead of getting married in a normal place, she is getting married at the camp where her and her fiancé met… which means I’m taking a trip up to the middle of nowheresville, Maine. Its going to be very expensive but should also be very cute. My best friend/roommate is coming with, so we’ve turned it into a girls weekend. We plan on flying up the night before, staying in a darling little bed and breakfast, eating as many homemade cookies as the hostess can make, and making sure our heels don’t sink in the mud.

I know our plan because I spent my morning creating an itinerary in excel. I’ve already found flights and booked our room. I plan on buying the tickets for the flights tomorrow and spending the rest of my week looking for a taxi service that doesn’t charge extra for a ride into the sticks of Maine. Hopefully we aren’t forced to rent a car. Neither of us are 25 and from what I’ve heard, that’s the minimum age. I don’t have the sort of patience convincing a random person to let me rent a car would take. So I’m hoping to avoid it completely.

Luckily for me, I will also be flying into Florida later in the week to celebrate Easter with my family. I’m hoping a few days in the sun will help me chill out, mainly because I am not used to being this anxious or productive. Its terrifying (the anxiety, the productivity is actually kinda nice.)

Also, my eating habits have been really reallllly terrible lately, which is probably not helping the anxiety. I’m hoping to curb that by the time next Monday rolls around… or it’ll be me rolling around, and I would rather not.

Well… wish me luck.

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