Midweek Freakout… Sort of

I have no idea what to make of this week so far.

Monday the new manager of my office started. He seems like a nice enough man; a little older, bald, experienced as a salesman, according to the CRO that hired him, and “just the man our office needed.” He held a meeting at 4:30 Monday afternoon to tell us that he realizes that change is hard but that embracing change is good, and that he’s looking to have a good time. He bought us a couple six packs and some chips and we all sat around he conference room table as he talked and we listened. He seems to like winning very much. I have never been overly concerned with winning. I, of course, find it fun to win but I am not super competitive and usually don’t care for people who are. That’s what I am worried about.

I will be meeting with the new manager Friday afternoon one on one. He is meeting with everyone in our office, if he hasn’t already. He is making an effort to get to know us. I appreciate that. Being the lowest person on the totem pole in my office, I’m not nervous but I’m also not very excited. I honestly have no idea what to say to the man. So to prepare, I spoke to one of the people who already had his one on one. I was told the manager asks for your role, where you see yourself eventually and so on, so at least I know what to expect. But I’m not sure what to say. My role is simple enough on paper, but I’d to make sure he knows I’m irreplaceable. I need to convey how hard I’ve worked to get to where I am and how I plan on continuing to work just as hard. I want to show him I am a valuable asset, especially if he plans on promoting people. But I have to think of a good way to say it.

Because in reality, I walked into this job on the first day knowing nothing about it. I hadn’t even read the job description. But the interview went well and they were willing to give me a chance. Once I was hired, I was terrified that people would realize that I was faking it. I spent a shit ton of time practicing insignificant details of my job to be sure I could eventually do them without thinking too much. I spent long hours in my office at my computer. I get there before everyone else every day and try to leave after most people.

But now I know my shit. I know our brands and I know what doing. I’m proud of what I do, and I realized a little while ago that I can say finally that without flinching. I faked it until I was able to make it and, thanks to the people I surrounded myself with, it only took a couple small fuck ups and a few nights whining into a bottle of wine and a book.

I need to figure out how to show this man I am here for the long haul, no matter what he plans on throwing at me. I’m fucking ready.

This is going to require more chocolate.

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