Whenever one door closes, another opens

Today was a huge day for me. I’m not good with change, at all. I get nervous and anxious and barely end up dealing with it between waves of nausea. I’m not kidding, me + change = chaos.
But today I dealt with one of the biggest changes ever. I got a new car.

I loved my car. His name was Jeffrey. He was a 2006 Range Rover that my dad gave me when I started driving in 2008. He had driven it and decided he was over it and it would be a good car for me (I have no idea why, it was the most expensive car in the school parking lot by a long shot.)

Jeff got me through A LOT. I survived my first year of driving with just a few minor scratches, my senior year of high school, visiting 3 different boyfriends in different boroughs and states, all four years of college, house parties, pledging, wawa trips, beer runs, beach trips, my first year of being an adult and so much more. I owe him my life, he’s kept me safe since I started driving and I just assumed I’d drive him for the rest of my life.


Obviously that’s impossible. While Range Rovers are gorgeous, they’re not the most reliable cars on the market. There was a summer when the alarm would go off at 4am every night no matter what. And multiple times when every electrical part of the car would just stop working. For the last 2 weeks the seat has been stuck in the most uncomfortable position ever. My dad has put more money into fixing Jeffrey than any other car, he’s one expensive truck.

My dad has been trying to convince me to trade him in for months. He’s always saying its time for a new one but, because of my ridiculous fear of change and my inability to make decisions, I would try really hard to change the subject every time it came up. Finally, after two weeks of driving like an 80 year old woman, so close to the steering wheel that I could barely move my knees, I figured he might be right, it was time.

I did a little research and liked the Nissan XTerra and Toyota FJ Cruiser. Toyota will stop making the FJ Cruiser at the end of this year and, while my dad thought that was a bad sign, we went and saw that first. Of course, I fell in love. She is “cement” gray with a white top and pinstripes on the side. She is a badass and the first car we saw when we walked into the showroom.


We drove off the lot a little later, after multiple talks about price, having sandwiches delivered to the showroom, and a pretty useless rundown of how the car works (they don’t sell FJ Cruisers often so the girl who was supposed to show me what each thing in the car did kinda just set up my Bluetooth and left.)

This badass car obviously needed a badass name. Because she is an FJ Cruiser I decided to stick with FJ as her initials.

Her name is Freyja Jayani… Just roll with me for a second, there’s a reason.

Jeff was my first car. He was a prince. He represented that time in my life when appearance was important to me. He, like me, was prim and assumed he was royalty, meaning he didn’t like annoying situations or traffic.

Freyja represents a new chapter in my life. I’m a little older and a little wiser. I’m considered an adult by pretty much everyone except myself. I work full time, I go to the gym, I pay for my own things. She’s a warrior, and if I’m going to survive adulthood, I need a warrior as my guide.

Obviously both names mean something, and make her initials FJ.

Freyja is Norse.
In Norse mythology, Freyja, which is the old Norse word for “Lady,” is the goddess associated with war, love, sexuality, beauty, fertility, gold, and death. She has her hands full but she was a badass. Which is why I chose this for my new cars first name.

Jayani is Hindu. She is shakti of Ganesha. Shakti embodies the active feminine energy of Shiva which makes her the equivalent to a main goddess if I’m not mistaken. (If I am, PLEASE tell me- this is information I’ve gathered with a limited knowledge of Hinduism.) Shakti represents the dynamic forces that move through the entire universe in Hinduism. Shakti is the concept of divine feminine power, is responsible for creation, and is also the agent of change. If you don’t think that’s symbolic, I don’t know what to tell ya.

With a name like Freyja Jayani, I have very much faith that this car could carry me through a whirlwind and make if out unscathed on the other side. We have a lot of learning to do in order to fully appreciate and respect each other but I am very excited because today is the first day of the rest of my Toyota FJ Cruiser life!



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