Month: July 2014

It’s a great day for a birthday.


Yesterday, July 24th, was my boyfriend’s 25th birthday.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to see him yesterday because I had work and he went to Atlantic City with his friends to gamble and drink. But I wasn’t worried. Our relationship is absolutely no where near normal so we’re really good at rolling with the punches and making the best out of almost any situation. While we’ve only been dating since October 2013, Nick and I have known each other since about 2008…ish.

It’s a long/weird story. I will start from the beginning and tell the shortest version possible.

During my sophomore and junior years of high school, I branched out to make the friends I’d been afraid to make in my freshman year. The group of best friends I graduated high school with consisted of four girls who had all been thrown into a gym class together junior year. Once we could all drive we started hanging out at Michelle’s house. It was the most comfortable house for all of us, especially because Michelle came from a huge Irish family. They were loud and drunk and awesome. The three of us loved being with Michelle and her family because they welcomed us with open arms and an open case of budlight. how could we say no?

Eventually we ended up at Michelle’s house almost every weekend. We started inviting other friends and soon smushed our new group with Michelle’s older brother, Stephan’s, group of well established friends. Steve is two years above us in school and went to a different high school. That didn’t matter much since most of the friends he would have over lived within 5 blocks of his house.

Eventually the groups merged and Stephan’s friends because our friends. While they were all very attractive, I never looked at any of them as anything more than a friend. apparently I was the only one to think that way… But that’s another story entirely.

Skip a bit into the future and we are in the summer after my first year of college. My group of best friends had been split down the middle; my friend Breanna and I attended Monmouth University in Long Branch, New Jersey and learned what a hoagie was (I will always just call it a sandwich because the word hoagie is just ridiculous,) while Michelle and our fourth friend Doyle (whose real name is Kaitlyn but no one calls her that) went to Manhattan College in the Bronx and became city kids. Even though we grew up, we made sure not to grow apart and would still see each other as often as possible. During the summer after my freshman year of college, I was newly single and was looking to get my mind off of the most useless boy I will ever date.

…In walks Nick Chris.

Nick and I started texting a few weeks into my summer break. Nothing major. His brother Chris had also shown interest in me (as he does with pretty much any girl brought into the house) but decided to let Nick take the reigns, because Chris is a nice brother.

Nick turned 21 the summer after my first year of college. He and his friends decided it would be really cool if all the guys sailed down to Atlantic City for his birthday. The girls (there were 6 of us because we also took Michelle’s two cousins) drove down there the day after they left and met them at what was then known as Trump Marina. It was while I was pulling into a parking lot that my friends decided to tell me that I was actually a surprise. I was meant as a birthday present. I was a little pissed off but knew Nick would never have the guts to invite me down otherwise.

And that was the first time I kissed my boyfriend, but he definitely wasn’t my boyfriend then.

After a short summer romance, I went back to school and had a new boyfriend in a week. He was a boy I had been close with the year before and it seem right… For the moment. Nick was furious but I explained to everyone (apparently Nick wasn’t the only one not happy about my new boyfriend) that I did not have feelings for Nick.

Fast forward a year and a half; I am at the end of my junior year of college and have broken up with the boy I started dating a week into my sophomore year. FINALLY.

I still didn’t have feelings for Nick, but now at least I could talk to him without feeling guilty. I kept my friendship with Nick as platonic as I could but no matter what I did, he was always there acting like a boyfriend I didn’t want. Even though I didn’t want him, he still made a fantastic boyfriend. He even cooked me and my roommates a 4 course meal for Valentine’s day. The man does not mess around. But still, I was not interested.

Jumping ahead again. With September 2013 coming to a close, I met a girl Nick had started seeing. They weren’t serious because I had emotionally stunted the poor guy, but after meeting her I realized that I liked him a little more than I had originally thought.

Finally, in the beginning of October 2013, I told Nick that I was ready to settle down and that I wanted him to myself. Jealousy is a scary, scary, thing my friends. Guard against it.

All jokes aside, I am so insanely lucky to have him. The last couple of years have turned him into my best friend as well as my boyfriend. I’m able to talk to him about anything and he will listen. He remembers things about me no one else even knows. He is the greatest boyfriend to walk the planet and I still can’t believe I get to call him mine.






Wish List for This Very Second in Time

  1. (each word is a link to a thlb inspo picture. go. look. enlighten one another.)
  2. some more coffee, delivered to my desk… preferably of the iced persuasion.
  3. for it to be 5:10pm so I can leave my office without feeling bad.
  4. October.
  5. more sweet chili sauce from DeeDaa for this thai grilled chicken (aka heaven.)
  6. a new book series to obsess over. (I finished my other one last night. I was terribly sad. I’m now dealing with what some readers refer to as a “book hangover.” but you know what they say about hangovers… to avoid em, ya gotta keep drinkin! …er reading…)
  7. a massive amount of cookies.
  8. a beach day.
  9. a pumpkin spiced iced coffee… ugh. that’s more of a need than a wish.
  10. good music suggestions to help me out of my book hangover
  11. this bad boy.


Reading is my favorite way of escaping real life. It’s better than sleeping because it allows me to actively replace the annoying aspects of my life with exciting aspects of someone else’s.
Knowing that I am more than half way through the book I am currently reading/obsessed with, and knowing that it is the last book of this trilogy, is stressing me out more than my job is. I don’t think that’s normal. I just love the story line.


Whenever one door closes, another opens

Today was a huge day for me. I’m not good with change, at all. I get nervous and anxious and barely end up dealing with it between waves of nausea. I’m not kidding, me + change = chaos.
But today I dealt with one of the biggest changes ever. I got a new car.

I loved my car. His name was Jeffrey. He was a 2006 Range Rover that my dad gave me when I started driving in 2008. He had driven it and decided he was over it and it would be a good car for me (I have no idea why, it was the most expensive car in the school parking lot by a long shot.)

Jeff got me through A LOT. I survived my first year of driving with just a few minor scratches, my senior year of high school, visiting 3 different boyfriends in different boroughs and states, all four years of college, house parties, pledging, wawa trips, beer runs, beach trips, my first year of being an adult and so much more. I owe him my life, he’s kept me safe since I started driving and I just assumed I’d drive him for the rest of my life.


Obviously that’s impossible. While Range Rovers are gorgeous, they’re not the most reliable cars on the market. There was a summer when the alarm would go off at 4am every night no matter what. And multiple times when every electrical part of the car would just stop working. For the last 2 weeks the seat has been stuck in the most uncomfortable position ever. My dad has put more money into fixing Jeffrey than any other car, he’s one expensive truck.

My dad has been trying to convince me to trade him in for months. He’s always saying its time for a new one but, because of my ridiculous fear of change and my inability to make decisions, I would try really hard to change the subject every time it came up. Finally, after two weeks of driving like an 80 year old woman, so close to the steering wheel that I could barely move my knees, I figured he might be right, it was time.

I did a little research and liked the Nissan XTerra and Toyota FJ Cruiser. Toyota will stop making the FJ Cruiser at the end of this year and, while my dad thought that was a bad sign, we went and saw that first. Of course, I fell in love. She is “cement” gray with a white top and pinstripes on the side. She is a badass and the first car we saw when we walked into the showroom.


We drove off the lot a little later, after multiple talks about price, having sandwiches delivered to the showroom, and a pretty useless rundown of how the car works (they don’t sell FJ Cruisers often so the girl who was supposed to show me what each thing in the car did kinda just set up my Bluetooth and left.)

This badass car obviously needed a badass name. Because she is an FJ Cruiser I decided to stick with FJ as her initials.

Her name is Freyja Jayani… Just roll with me for a second, there’s a reason.

Jeff was my first car. He was a prince. He represented that time in my life when appearance was important to me. He, like me, was prim and assumed he was royalty, meaning he didn’t like annoying situations or traffic.

Freyja represents a new chapter in my life. I’m a little older and a little wiser. I’m considered an adult by pretty much everyone except myself. I work full time, I go to the gym, I pay for my own things. She’s a warrior, and if I’m going to survive adulthood, I need a warrior as my guide.

Obviously both names mean something, and make her initials FJ.

Freyja is Norse.
In Norse mythology, Freyja, which is the old Norse word for “Lady,” is the goddess associated with war, love, sexuality, beauty, fertility, gold, and death. She has her hands full but she was a badass. Which is why I chose this for my new cars first name.

Jayani is Hindu. She is shakti of Ganesha. Shakti embodies the active feminine energy of Shiva which makes her the equivalent to a main goddess if I’m not mistaken. (If I am, PLEASE tell me- this is information I’ve gathered with a limited knowledge of Hinduism.) Shakti represents the dynamic forces that move through the entire universe in Hinduism. Shakti is the concept of divine feminine power, is responsible for creation, and is also the agent of change. If you don’t think that’s symbolic, I don’t know what to tell ya.

With a name like Freyja Jayani, I have very much faith that this car could carry me through a whirlwind and make if out unscathed on the other side. We have a lot of learning to do in order to fully appreciate and respect each other but I am very excited because today is the first day of the rest of my Toyota FJ Cruiser life!


I am actually Tom Selleck


Here is a not-so-great picture of my outfit tonight, as well as my messy room (sorry)

Tonight I went to a friend’s birthday. Once I got there I found out it was actually Hawaiian shirt themed and that I had dressed appropriately by accident. That was pretty sweet.

Anyway, I felt kinda Magnum PI -ish in my Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses and wanted to share.