Quarter life crisis

My family is pretty close. And I don’t mean just my parents and siblings… I mean my entire extended family, all of my grandparents siblings and their children and their children’s children. There are a lot of us and its craziness.

But the point I was trying to make is that we are all very close, especially with our parents, and no one moves out of the house until they get married.

This isn’t specific to just the women of the family; all children, unless married, live with their parents. My dad’s aunt’s kids are all between the ages of 25 and 29 and still living home… in a semi attached house… with three bedrooms… there are like 5 of them. If you ask me, that’s a little nuts.

Recently, one of my cousins decided to be a badass, defy the laws of nature and move to Brooklyn. I mean he works in Staten Island but where he lives is really pretty; plus he lives with friends.

WELL

my father was offended. My dad, not his, mine. My dad is literally not even blood related to this boy at all (he’s my cousin on my mother’s side) and I got yelled at. Weird, I know.

Not to mention that the cousin in question is 25. Yes, well, good stuff.

But the last few weeks have made me really contemplate my situation in life; where I live, my job, my commute, my relationship status, how much money I make vs how much I spend (the latter number is definitely higher) and its made me realize that I can’t live like this forever.

I don’t want to wait until I get married to have my own place and try to make it on my own. I don’t want to wake up before the sun rises every morning and get home after it sets every night. I do not want to spend more hours commuting to and from work than I spend awake in my own damn home. I just don’t.

I want to move to a new city and be a real person. Maybe own a cat. But fundamentally I want to be an adult. A real one, bot this pseudo adult crap I’ve goy going on right now. I mean, lets be realistic, it probably won’t happen in the very near future because I don’t have enough money, but maybe in a few years, I was thinking 25 is a good age.

But then I thought “what if I get to 25 years old and I still feel like a kid?” I mean hell, at 16 I assumed I would be an actual adult by 22.

However, here I am, 22 years old, I spend more time writing than I do working, I eat poptarts for breakfast and I live on kitkats while at work.

Needless to say, this is not how I pictured my life at age 22.

I think life just makes me nervous. I never really pictured myself married or having kids; I barely even like kids. But I don’t see this working out in my favor.
And it makes me freak out. Obviously. Hence my long winded quarter life crisis. I think this is what happens when you don’t know what you want out of life.

I honestly don’t think I can handle any more of this second guessing my life. Someone tell me what to do!

 

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