Month: November 2013

I have so much to be thankful for


I’m thankful for my amazing family, without whom I would never accomplish anything. My parents and siblings are my rock; they give me the strength to get up every morning and get through the day. They’ve taught me more about love and happiness in only a few years than most people learn in a lifetime.
My grandparents, aunts and uncles have taught me what my parents couldn’t. They snuck me toys and took me to McDonald’s without my parents knowing. They’ve been there for so many different life events and have helped make me who I am today.
My cousins are my built in best friends. They’ve kept me sane at family functions and are always playing games to keep us occupied. They taught me how to socialize and how to make friends. I owe them my personality, I think.
I’m thankful for my friends, my family away from home. We’re a little more spread out than we used to be, but that hasn’t broken our friendship. My best friends have taught me about life, about how to be an adult and that Chinese food is never a bad idea, no matter what time it is.

Don’t tell him, but I’m thankful for Nick. He means so much more to me than I can ever actually put into words, which is a completely alien feeling for me. I am so thankful that he waited for me, that he never gave up and was ready to be there when I was ready to have him there. I’m thankful for his goon-like qualities, for his sense of humor, his eyes that do this terrible thing and make me melt, his hugs and his love. But like I said, he must never know any of that.
I’m thankful for my new job, for the beginning of a career, for the drivers who get me to and from work everyday, and all the men and women I work with who have taught me so much in the last four months.
I’m thankful for pizza and chocolate, for pancakes and bagels.
I’m thankful for all I have and everyone in my life.
I’m pretty damn lucky, and for that, I am thankful.

My Thanksgiving Freak-out

Thanksgiving is the most delicious holiday of the year. No one can deny that.

Every Thanksgiving Eve my parents load up a trailer, (yes, a trailer, like one people use to move out of their homes – expect slightly smaller) and make the three hour journey to our home upstate. The house up there is gorgeous. Its a 5 bedroom ranch that sits on a nice chunk of land (which is my way of saying its a good size but I have no idea how big.) But we don’t go up very often so all of Wednesday night is spent cleaning, starting a fire in the fire place, and trying to get the TV and heat to work – neither of which are very reliable when we first arrive.

Thursday morning we make breakfast, then the men and kids go outside and play. There are quads and sleds and a lot of woods. The women usually stay in and cook and prepare for Thanksgiving.

Apparently, this year, I cross over from being a child to being an adult. Last weekend my father bet me that I wouldn’t make the sweet potato casserole that I had been raving about. So I’ve spent the last few days looking up recipes to prove him wrong.

Don’t let anything I’ve ever said before fool you. I’m a terrible cook. I have no idea what I’m doing. My junior year of college I had an apartment with a kitchen and set the fire alarm off at least three times the first semester. Then I decided to stick with pasta for the rest of the school year. It was safer for everyone.

I have no printed out four different recipes for sweet potato casserole and one for mashed sweet potatoes, just in case the casserole goes south.

I’m freaking out and don’t know if I can handle this pressure. But he bet me I wouldn’t so this is my dad’s fault. If I set the house on fire I cannot be held accountable. And that’s what I’m sticking with.

20131120-105228.jpgI’m not very good with consistency. I don’t follow routines, mostly because I tend to forget.

But for the last few days this has been my breakfast and I like it. I felt like I was getting a little bit of a cold last Friday so I grabbed some Gypsy Cold Tea from my tea cabinet at home but needed more once I got to work. The grocery store by my office had this version, so I bought it hoping it would last me a while. I also picked up some breakfast! I’ve never been a huge fan of special K but this flavor is amazing. Its like eating candy.

Let’s hope this one lasts!

Quarter life crisis

My family is pretty close. And I don’t mean just my parents and siblings… I mean my entire extended family, all of my grandparents siblings and their children and their children’s children. There are a lot of us and its craziness.

But the point I was trying to make is that we are all very close, especially with our parents, and no one moves out of the house until they get married.

This isn’t specific to just the women of the family; all children, unless married, live with their parents. My dad’s aunt’s kids are all between the ages of 25 and 29 and still living home… in a semi attached house… with three bedrooms… there are like 5 of them. If you ask me, that’s a little nuts.

Recently, one of my cousins decided to be a badass, defy the laws of nature and move to Brooklyn. I mean he works in Staten Island but where he lives is really pretty; plus he lives with friends.


my father was offended. My dad, not his, mine. My dad is literally not even blood related to this boy at all (he’s my cousin on my mother’s side) and I got yelled at. Weird, I know.

Not to mention that the cousin in question is 25. Yes, well, good stuff.

But the last few weeks have made me really contemplate my situation in life; where I live, my job, my commute, my relationship status, how much money I make vs how much I spend (the latter number is definitely higher) and its made me realize that I can’t live like this forever.

I don’t want to wait until I get married to have my own place and try to make it on my own. I don’t want to wake up before the sun rises every morning and get home after it sets every night. I do not want to spend more hours commuting to and from work than I spend awake in my own damn home. I just don’t.

I want to move to a new city and be a real person. Maybe own a cat. But fundamentally I want to be an adult. A real one, bot this pseudo adult crap I’ve goy going on right now. I mean, lets be realistic, it probably won’t happen in the very near future because I don’t have enough money, but maybe in a few years, I was thinking 25 is a good age.

But then I thought “what if I get to 25 years old and I still feel like a kid?” I mean hell, at 16 I assumed I would be an actual adult by 22.

However, here I am, 22 years old, I spend more time writing than I do working, I eat poptarts for breakfast and I live on kitkats while at work.

Needless to say, this is not how I pictured my life at age 22.

I think life just makes me nervous. I never really pictured myself married or having kids; I barely even like kids. But I don’t see this working out in my favor.
And it makes me freak out. Obviously. Hence my long winded quarter life crisis. I think this is what happens when you don’t know what you want out of life.

I honestly don’t think I can handle any more of this second guessing my life. Someone tell me what to do!


I keep missing important things

I haven’t posted in so long, I haven’t told you about my birthday or my Halloween costume, the warehouse party in Brooklyn or my sister’s birthday. Its pretty upsetting that I am so terrible with consistency.

But for now, I wanted to share a list I found on tumblr.

I really liked it because its something everyone needs to hear at least once in their life:

1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.

2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.

3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.

4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.

5. Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home team or your government.

6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

7. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of ‘horse’.

8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

9. Don’t dumb it down.

10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.

11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.

12. Never park in front of a bar.

13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.

14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend.

15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.

16. A suntan is earned, not bought.

17. Never lie to your doctor.

18. All guns are loaded.

19. Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.

20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once.

21. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.

22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good.

23. A handshake beats an autograph.

24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.

25. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.

26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

27. Never get your hair cut the day of a special event.

28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.

29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.

30. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.

31. Eat lunch with the new kids.

32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.

33. It’s never too late for an apology.

34. Don’t pose with booze.

35. If you have the right of way, take it.

36. You don’t get to choose your own nickname.

37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.

38. Never push someone off a dock.

39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she’s pregnant.

40. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it.

41. Don’t make a scene.

42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.

43. Know when to ignore the camera.

44. Never gloat.

45. Invest in good luggage.

46. Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s her special day, too.

47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.

48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.

49. Give credit. Take blame.

50. Suck it up every now and again.

51. Never be the last one in the pool.

52. Don’t stare.

53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.

54. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.

55. If you’ve made your point, stop talking.

56. Admit it when you’re wrong.

57. If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done.

58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.

59. Thank the bus driver.

60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.

61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

62. Know at least one good joke.

63. Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son.

64. Know how to cook one good meal.

65. Learn to drive a stick shift.

66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.

67. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.

68. Dance with your mother/father.

69. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.

70. Always thank the host.

71. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.

72. Know the size of your boy/girlfriend’s clothes.

73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.

74. Be a good listener. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk.

75. Keep your word.

76. In college, always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately.

77. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for nine months.

78. Be patient with airport security. They’re just doing their jobs.

79. Don’t be the talker in a movie.

80. The opposite sex likes people who shower.

81. You are what you do, not what you say.

82. Learn to change a tire.

83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.

84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.

85. Don’t litter.

86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.

87. You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest.

88. Never call someone before 9am or after 9pm.

89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.

90. Make the little things count.

91. Always wear a bra at work.

92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.

93. You’re never too old to need your mom.

94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill.

95. Know the words to your national anthem.

96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun then sitting on the bench alone.

97. Smile at strangers.

98. Make goals.

99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.

100. If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.

― a high school teacher’s list of 100 wisest words